I read something on my Facebook page in one of the Mommy
groups I follow. A very new mom was trying to figure out how to do it all, find
balance, stay happy AND sane and was asking for help. I chuckled. Silly mom,
there is not an answer to this. But of course there were 38+ responses and I was
dying to read what others were saying.
 |
| Harmony at the park |
Perhaps there was actually an answer to this madness!?
I’m always looking for suggestions to find better balance because
for the past year I’ve been rushing around trying to find it. In my eyes it
seems like all these other moms have it together and I’m missing something. But
what I’ve learned over the past year is a lot of them DO NOT have it together.
They either don’t like sharing this information with me or they are awesome at
pretending. Or they simply have learned and accepted that this is their new life and
take each day as it comes.
I envy that peace. I want it. I need it.
One comment from a mom of three in the mommy group
grabbed my attention. She wrote: “It’s
not about finding balance, it’s about creating harmony. If you try to create
balance, you set yourself up for failure and you’ll eventually burn yourself
out and shoot yourself down over and over again. Instead, try to make the best
of what you’re given. Every person’s situation is different. You're not walking in their shoes, nor will they ever walk in yours. Do not compare. What
you do know now is nothing ever goes as planned and you need to recognize that
and create harmony from what you’re handed every day.”
Hello. Why haven’t I thought of this?
I loved this. Harmony. Ahh. Such a positive word.
My last typical day had me almost pulling out my hair and
beating myself up. Why couldn’t I go about my normal insane schedule AND get
two gifts ready for a 1st birthday party AND get all 70+ thank you
cards done, stamped, addressed and in the mail from Jacksons’ birthday party?
Well, perhaps because Jackson stole my pen, wrote on his
face, grabbed a bunch of the cards, stepped all over them, chewed on them,
shoved them in the dirt of one of our potted plants and then kicked the
envelopes under his Pack N Play. But in my mind it was ME who was the problem.
I wasn’t fast enough. I couldn’t focus well enough. I lost my ability to
multi-task. Why can’t you fill out these pesky cards that have been sitting on
your to-do list for the past three weeks? You’d be able to do these in no time
before. Insert name here would have had these out weeks ago. It’s not
like you have any plans or company or….
Deep breath. I looked
at the situation through Jackson’s eyes. He was telling me…”MOM, I’m here. You
are here. Pay attention to me! Screw these stupid thank you cards!!”
I mean, clearly my husband didn’t care about them. He left
to place some bets at Canterbury for the Kentucky Derby.
Instead I took (another) deep breath and thought HARMONY.
Let’s make this situation fun. OK, so reading a magazine or
sitting outside with my shirt rolled up and drink in hand wasn't a reality at that very moment but I could still have fun. Harmonize.
I don’t know about you but I think music when I hear the
word harmony. So the first thing I did was turn on music. Loud. Right away, Jackson
started dancing. And I laughed. He was too cute. Then my moment came. A slow
song filled the speakers. I picked up Jackson and we spun. We danced. I held him
close and escaped all the stressors. I kind of felt like we were in a tunnel.
Just me and him. “You know, one day you and I are going to slow dance at your
wedding just like this and I’m not going to want to let you go. I love you too
much.”
I thought of that day more seriously. I pictured Jackson as
a man. I saw it all. I saw someone in white clinging to him for dear life…thinking
she (or he, I suppose) loved him more than me. And he thinking he is the
luckiest man alive. I panicked, but at the same time I felt incredibly blessed
that he was still a little boy and I still had TIME. Every day I'm blessed with time to spend with him - some moments shorter than others but there is TIME. Time to enjoy him and soak
up these harmonious moments. Moments I
keep pushing aside because I think I have to find perfection.
I must have worn Jackson out because he ended up taking a
2.5 hour nap and low and behold I made it through all 70 cards. No, I didn’t
have time to add the pictures, or addresses or lick them shut. That little
voice started to attack me again… You used to be able to do this… remember?
Then Jackson woke up. I jumped and ran to him. He giggled when he saw me.
Enjoy the moment. The today. The here and now. The cards can wait. I have
some dancing to do.
