Travel Often

“I see my path, but I don’t know where it leads. Not knowing where I’m going is what inspires me to travel it.” — Rosalia de Castro

Love Deeply, but Laugh Along the Way

"Happiness is only real when shared." - Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild

View Marriage as an Adventure

"Love is a flower which turns into fruit at marriage." ~Finnish Proverb

Fuel your body with GOOD (It's the only one you get)

He who has health has hope; and he who has hope has everything. - Arabian Proverb

Open your Soul to Motherhood

A Grand Adventure is About to Begin - Winnie the Pooh

A New Kind of Love is Born

Mothers hold their children's hands for a short while, but their hearts forever.

Monday, October 20, 2014

Welcome to the World Nathan Karl Koester

Second time IS the charm(er)

Saturday EARLY morning (sweetest day) I wake a few times to cramping.  I'm going on my second week of feeling like I'm getting my period and then nothing. Waved it off.

6:20 a.m. Jackson crawls into bed with us. He hasn't been up this early for weeks, maybe months. He snuggles in close to me and starts rubbing my back so sweetly. I wonder if he knows something I don't.  I remind Jackson I love him no matter what. He agrees.

Jackson wants to get changed and have breakfast.  Karl rolls over and starts playing with his phone. I jokingly (kind of) tell him he better enjoy these LAST moments of getting a few quiet moments to himself cuz it won't be happening anymore once baby comes.

We have breakfast.  I get some stomach pains and go to the bathroom (like I'm cleaning house....if you know what I mean) Sorry, TMI.

My uncle texts me that today is the day I'm going to welcome my son. I actually feel he is right but there's no way baby will come out of nowhere, right?

We decide to check out Zumbini class last minute. Something new! Jackson likes all the music and scarves and dancing. I do not like sitting and standing in repeat and the weird pulling feeling I'm getting down there. But I still swivel my hips and get down with the kids.

Our drive home and I notice more intense cramping.  Hmmm. It's also coming every 15-20 minutes. I think it'll go away. I start texting some friends if this is normal. They tell me I will know in an hour.

We have lunch. Cramping is stronger. Coming on every 10-15 minutes. But I still think it'll go away. Yet, my intuition takes over and I start packing bags and setting them by the door. Like a force takes over my body. All the while I'm laughing at myself.  What are you doing? You really think baby is coming?

Jackson goes down for his nap. Cramps could be turning into contractions.  I look at Karl. Mmm. These are stronger. 5 minutes.  7 minutes. 10 minutes. We watch CASTLE on DVR.  We look at eachother and say we will see eachother and our shows in another 2 years:)

Jackson gets up around 3:30. Contractions are for real. I'm writing them down. I'm still able to run up and down the stairs, wait on hold for the doctor, do dishes and play outside with Jackson. 

4:20 p.m. contractions are 3-5 minutes apart. We zip Jackson over to our friend's house cuz Karl's parents are at the cabin. I' m bawling when I see Jenna. I'm so very grateful for her. I have so many emotions. I feel bad we're leaving Jackson. I thank God for placing Jenna in my life. I don't trust just anyone. She is the real deal. And I know God was behind this friendship from the get go. So I cry in front of everyone.  Snot is going everywhere. Walk out and a contraction hits. I'm a mess.

Karl is hungry. I also know we won't eat for a long, long, time. We go through the drive thru at McDonald's.  I have two contractions while waiting for our food. I am NOT HUNGRY. I want to push. I know this isn't good. I feel the baby moving down. This can't be good.

Karl drives fast. Our exit is CLOSED. I have more contractions. I forget how bad these are.

The shakes hit. I know this can't be good at all. This happened 20 minutes before Jackson came. Out of control shakes.

Karl drops me off at the front of the ER. I can barely walk.  I sit on the bench and have a contraction. People are watching. I don't care. Karl asks to get a wheelchair.  I tell him let's just get checked in. I have two contractions while getting checked in. Karl grabs that wheelchair. I'm thankful.  Even more so that he knows how to operate it so quickly.  If it were me, I'd be confused.

A sweet front desk lady wheels us up to the birthing unit. I'm having flashbacks. THIS time the contractions feel like I have to push though and way stronger. I will DIE if they tell me I'm only dilated to a one like I was with Jackson. 

They wheel me to a room. Tell me to get undressed immediately.  They start transforming the room. Karl and I are looking at eachother.  This room transformation took an entire day last time. The room changes in minutes.  The nurse checks me. "You're at a 5."

What????

The next two contractions hit. "I want to push," I say.

"Hmm. That can't be right. Let me check you again."

I HATE THESE CONTRACTIONS.  I want to throw up. "I need an epidural now! Please!!!"

The nurse checks me again. "You're at an 8."

"WHAT???"

"This baby is coming." Nurse gets in my face. "The anesthesiologist is 20 minutes away. I want you to be prepared for not getting the epidural."

I swear. And swear. And panic. There is no way. No way.

I tell my body to stop. I'm shaking all over the place. I can't have this baby without something. 

The anesthelogist arrives. There is NO time for a true epidural so I get the interfecal in my back.

Amazing. Amazing. Amazing.

They lay me down. Doctor comes in. Not OUR doctor but at this point I don't care. She tells us she's going to change in her scrubs.

I tell the nurse I feel the urge to poop bad and push. I apologize for eating clean all week. Lots of good healthy fiber in my diet. She laughs. I also tell her she's pretty. She is!!!! She says we'll try a practice round. She tells me to start and immediately tells me to stop. She calls the doctor. I can tell something is up by the look on her face.

They wheel over the mirror. There I am for the world to see. And there is the head and tons of hair. Holy crap.

They tell me to push. There is Nathan. I cry because I can't even BELIEVE how this is going down. I can't believe what a miracle this is. I can't believe my body just did that. I can't believe Karl and I created such an amazing little boy. I can't believe how much I can love. I can't believe how GOOD I FEEL.

WHAT???

I FEEL AMAZING. Nathan is on my chest. No measuring. No weighing. Just me and Nate-Dawg and skin to skin. I nurse him. He latches like a stud. He poops on me like a stud. He is SO tiny!!!!!!! We really don't have a name at this time but I love him with everything I've got.

I feel like I could go running. Or go about life. I don't even know how. In a short bit, feeling comes back to my legs. I had a two-hour window of no pain and it worked. I walk around. Nate gets cleaned up.

7lbs 5 oz 20 inches. Brown wild hair, grayish blue eyes. AND DIMPLES.  HUGE DIMPLES.

I AM SO IN LOVE.

I saw his penis immediately and didn't feel any different. I think I did think....well, no prom dress shopping for me, no wedding to plan... but I get this awesome life with THREE boys. The three sweetest boys in the world. Karl. Jackson and Nathan. I always loved hanging with my brothers and the guys in the neighborhood growing up. I kind of like boys a lot.

Jackson stood up on me the first time I held him. He wanted to get up and go and has been doing that ever since. Nate snuggled in deep and held on like a lil sweetheart.

And that's just what I plan to do. Snuggle in and hang on to this awesome life while I can. Cuz as tired as I am, I now know this time around this is all a phase. It goes FAST. It's going to be hard and trying and exhausting and I will cry. But we will get through it and all I will be left with are memories. So I might as well make the best of every second!!!!

Thank you ALL for the well wishes! More to come once life really begins back at home:) :) :)

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

39 Weeks Pregnant

One (or two) more week(s) to go!

October 15, 2014 (Jackson is 2.5 years old!!!!!!!!!!)

Your baby's waiting to greet the world! He continues to build a layer of fat to help control his body temperature after birth, but it's likely he already measures about 20 inches and weighs a bit over 7 pounds – about the size of a mini-watermelon. (Boys tend to be slightly heavier than girls.) The outer layers of his skin are sloughing off as new skin forms underneath.
Me at 39 Weeks


I keep wondering...will I get one more weekend or not? Maybe two? Who knows! Karl and I both packed our overnight bags today in our cars because we realized the commute to the hospital is pretty far for both of us if it happens while at work, even if it happens from our new house!

I had my 39-week appointment on Monday late afternoon. Karl had the day off so he was there. I love when he can be there. I also decided to get checked this time around. I had Jackson at 39 weeks (just one day before I hit 40 weeks). I was never dilated with him, but thought maybe this time since I've been getting the zingers and feel SO much pressure...

NOPE. Not dilated.

But the doctor felt baby's head! So funny. Just means baby is RIGHT there. This is why he suggested we have our bags packed. Plus, he really isn't on-call during the weekends anymore. Only during the week, so now I'm hoping I go during the week! We really want him to deliver our babe!

He did look over the latest ultrasound and mentioned there WAS a little note from the ultrasound doctor that one of the baby's kidneys might have measured a TEENY bit bigger. He again told me NOT to worry because he's not. But I swear, every time there is an ultrasound, something pops up. I have to tell myself we didn't have THAT many ultrasounds with Jackson so they couldn't uncover things like they can this time around? Maybe? I just keep praying for a HEALTHY baby and delivery.

I wonder what the story will be this time around? I wonder what we're having? So many things to think about!

I was doing AWESOME with sleeping until this morning. I was up at 4 a.m. thinking and wondering...could today be the day? Tomorrow? What else do I have left to do? When will I get to sleep in until 4 a.m. again? Karl and I were JUST talking how we have to FORCE Jackson to get out of bed in the mornings now. Just a few short months ago and he was up at 5 a.m. Oh, how things are changing!

The best thing is I'm ALMOST caught up on ALL projects at work. I had a 4-page list of all the projects I wanted to get done before I leave for 12 weeks. I have MAYBE two biggies left to do and I can breathe!!!

Otherwise, things are good. I'm still working out, running another clean eating group this week. So happy for this because I was going nuts on junk food for a little bit there.

Off to get a few more things done! Until next time!!!


Monday, October 13, 2014

Fun with the Koesters in Photos

Well, we're winding down here to the final couple/few weeks.

Still trying to keep up with my lil man and big man! Having loads of fun. Yesterday, I sat on the park bench watching Karl and Jackson play and laugh. The sun was out. The leaves were changing. We're all pretty healthy (for the most part). It was the MOST perfect day. I felt so grateful and lucky and thankful. I kept saying prayers of gratitude over and over in my head. Life is SO wonderful.

A boy and his trucks!

My crush :) 

Enjoying the last "warm" days of fall! Look at those baby browns.

Had a moment to read outside! LOVE THIS BOOK!

This is how the baby sits. ALWAYS. 

These two melt my heart. 

Hay ride at the apple orchard. My two twins!

Family photo!

Double trouble

Great apple picker!

He LOVES his tractors!

Hi, mom!!!!

Testing the water!

Pure joy!

Karl getting into it!

BURRR!

Sample dinner plate for Jackson!

Jackson is going to get a lot of books from his new brother or sister. I'm pretty excited about this one!

Nelly

He finds all the cool stuff in the house!

My sis in law's baby shower! 

So cute!

good eats!

6 weeks apart! Neither of us know what we're having!

Karl made pumpkin pancakes. SO GOOD!

Jackson is in this train phase. He did this with all our picture frames yesterday.

The pump. Oh man... Here we go again. 

Karl made THE BEST apple bread!! THE BEST. 

Two car seats in! GULP!

Still pumping out the workouts!

Me at the gym!

My awesome new shirt for being a health coach! I LOVE IT!

Still nesting. Donating a bunch of Karl's old stained shirts!

I don't shop much these days....only for groceries. But had to pick this one up!

A delicious salad!

Took Jackson in to get a mole looked at. He crawled right up on the table. 

He thought he was finally getting his teeth cleaned. Better get him in for this some time soon!

Friday fun! Took a nice long walk!

Stopped to be silly!

I love this little boy. LOVE HIM.

Scooping up leaves with dad!

Checking out the ducks!


Uncle Mike came to visit. Jackson gets pretty excited to see him!




Took Uncle Mike to the orchard and for a tractor ride!

Story time with dad! Reading one of dad's old books.

The trees are BEAUTIFUL this year!

Feeding the ducks Karl's apple bread!

At the park!


Running through piles of leaves!




What's up?

The only time he gets McDonald's....

And again...McDonald's!

This kid is my WORLD!!!!!
Until next time!!!! Maybe we'll be a family of four:) :)